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Birthdays 2 min read1 study cited

Long-distance birthday ideas that feel close

Being in a different city on someone's birthday is rough, for both of you. But some of the most-remembered birthdays happen over a phone screen, because the person on the other end clearly planned it. Here's how to close the distance for a day.

By the dearyou team ·

The view through an aeroplane window at sunset

At midnight

  • Call at 11:59 so you're the first voice they hear at 12.
  • Send something they can open, not just read: a letter, a video, a little website with your photos.
  • Have a friend in their city deliver a cake to the door.

During the day

  • Schedule a breakfast delivery from their favourite place. Food beats flowers.
  • Hide notes ahead of time if you've visited recently: in a book, a jacket pocket, the back of a photo frame.
  • Recruit their friends to take them out and send you photos.
  • Send one message every few hours with a memory from a different year of knowing them.

A video-call date that doesn't feel like a call

  1. Order the same food to both your places.
  2. Watch the same film in sync.
  3. Open your gifts to each other on camera.
  4. End with something you've both written to read aloud.
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Gifts that travel well

Digital gifts arrive instantly and don't break in a courier van. A personalised website with your photos, a letter and your song opens on their phone wherever they are. Pair it with something physical arriving the same day and you've covered both.

What the research says

From the research
In a diary study of dating couples, long-distance partners had fewer interactions than couples living close by, yet felt more intimate, because they shared more about themselves and saw their partner's actions in a more positive light.
[1] Jiang & Hancock, 2013Journal of Communication

In practice: on their birthday, depth beats frequency. One long call where you actually talk, and one heartfelt thing to open, will mean more than fifty texts.

Questions people ask

How do you celebrate a birthday in a long-distance relationship?+

Call at midnight, send something they can open (a letter, video or personalised website), schedule a food delivery, and plan a video-call date with the same food on both sides.

What can I send for a long-distance birthday that arrives on time?+

Food delivered from a local place, a cake ordered through a friend in their city, or a digital gift like a personalised website, which arrives the second you send it.

Make it yours

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#longdistance#birthday#videocall#deliveries

Sources

  1. [1]Jiang, L. C. & Hancock, J. T. (2013). Absence makes the communication grow fonder: Geographic separation, interpersonal media, and intimacy in dating relationships. Journal of Communication, 63(3), 556–577. Read

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